Lesson 2: What's Below the Surface
Too often we end up judging our current situation or the problems at hand by the external problems we see. However, more often than not, the real root of that problem has an internal cause. So in this lesson we're going to be digging below the surface so we can increase your breakthrough by addressing the root issue.
"What's Below the Surface?"
I was so wrong. For years I made the mistake that so many moms make. I tried addressing my needs from the surface level, but somehow I kept winding up stuck.
Today I'm breaking open the secrets to what changed everything in our conversation in Part 1 of
"What's Below the Surface?"
Take a listen. :)
Understanding Your Internal World
In the following excerpt, we'll take a closer look at the internal world of a mom & what's really going on below the surface.
When you're ready, read the PDF excerpt linked in the button below.
Lesson 2: "What's Below the Surface? Part 2
Now, let's see how these truths apply & how they relate to understanding your needs in everyday ways. Listen to Part 2 of our conversation on "What's Below the Surface?"
Process Your Thoughts
What kind of thoughts does this conversation prompt for you? What stood out to you most from this lesson? Take a few minutes to process in your journal or in the space provided below.
Action Step: 5 Why's
I want to introduce you to a method of self-awareness called "The 5 Why's."
Here’s how it works. You ask yourself a question like, "What's bothering me?" You then follow that up by asking “Why?” 5 times.
This exercise is designed to help you uncover what’s at the root of what’s bothering you.
Pro Tip: Try to focus on one topic.
Example: What's bothering me? "I feel trapped, like I’m stuck watching myself in third person.
I’m present but not engaged.”
1) Why? I’m always daydreaming or feeling overwhelmed.
2) Why do I feel overwhelmed? I don’t know. It’s just so much I don’t know how to process that I feel trapped.
3) Why do I feel trapped? I never get away. I’m always with my baby & feel guilty for taking a break.
4) Why do I feel guilty? It’s hard on my husband and I feel like I shouldn’t need a break.
5) Why do I feel like I don’t need a break? Because as a kid my mom would get mad at me every time I asked for things and would yell at me. So I never knew if it was safe to voice what I needed. Now it’s even harder to voice them because I don’t want to make anyone upset.
Do you see how this tool works?
We’ve just discovered that Adaline’s overwhelm is rooted in a wound from her childhood. Later we can address that root. We've also uncovered her need. (Did you catch it? What does she need?) A break. Some time away from baby to reset. Now we know the need + the barrier blocking her from getting that need met.
Awareness is Step 1!
Breakthrough is Step 2.
Take a few minutes in quiet to journal. I want you to ask yourself the questions:
Q: “What is bothering me?”
Then, ask yourself “Why?” 5x to uncover the root.
Follow it up with "What do I need?"