Updated: Aug 6, 2019
All the Crying
There are many things we don’t know before becoming parents. Things that are hard to explain & can be hard to handle. I can't tell you the number of times a crying child has sent me over the edge of breakdown. When covered in tears and snotty boogers, I come humbly back to my babies and apologize for yelling. Thankfully I have learned that long, extensive, loud tears are a trigger for me and this helps me be proactive.
I never knew how much a baby could cry or a toddler for that matter. They cry for cuddles. For diaper change. For hunger. For anything. Then add toddlers who cry over even more delightful things like their banana has a bruise. Cue toddler meltdown 😭. The list is endless, and scenarios in which you find yourself with a crying child are totally unpredictable. Like in the grocery store, the drive thru, traffic, and bedtime. 🗣
This is one thing every new parent should be warned about. Simply knowing it’s coming is so helpful. Knowing it’s normal, knowing it’s going to be hard is helpful. That way when you encounter it, there’s a backdrop of support knowing that whoever told you about it supports you, stands beside you, and UNDERSTANDS. And mom, you are likely going to feel a mix of emotions. On one side you may feel frustrated or angry because you have tried everything you know how to do to bring comfort and peace to your little one yet they still cry, fuss, whimper, or whine. And on the other hand, your heart may hurt and feel completely defeated and broken because you want so badly for them to be happy & at peace. And still you may feel driven to incredible anxiety as the sheer volume of crying can feel totally overwhelming when we have been managing it for so. many. hours.
What You Can Do:
Ask for help, hand the baby to someone else, call a friend, get outside (even if you need to walk down the street barefoot). Take a deep breath, a shower, 20 mins alone while you put the baby down somewhere safe like their crib so that you can step away- whatever you need to do to recalibrate & reset. Allow yourself space to scream, cry, punch a pillow - whatever you need. It’s okay that it’s hard. It’s okay that you feel stressed and upset and want it to stop. This does not mean you are a bad mom. It honestly means you are a person too, and you have real limitations, real emotions, and a really big & generous heart that cares deeply about your tiny darling.